I Don't Want To Do Anything But Cry
by Beaney 4
Summary: It seemed like lately, that all she had been doing was crying and it didn't look like it was going to stop anytime soon. Warning Hanna's eating disorder is mentioned and taken seriously.
1. Intro

Hi, everyone so I know this chapter is really mini and as a reader of Pretty Little Liar fanfiction, I know I dislike it when the chapters are really short after waiting for an update, so I just wanted to say that this is a one off and I will probably post a proper chapter tonight. This intro is just to see if anyones interested in where this story is heading, so I would love feedback and any suggestions are welcome.

Beaney 4 xoxo

Hanna felt herself sliding down, further and further with the cold metal tiles of her bathroom digging into her back, tears silently coursing down her cheeks. She just couldn't get her mind to process what had happened and all the work she had undone, within a few short minutes she was back to square one and breaking down all over again. But this time was different the rock in her life, the one that made her feel like everything was worth it had left her. The one that kept her sane, when all she wanted to do was run away screaming from the mess her life had become because of A or rather her supposed best friend Mona. Sitting on the floor, Hanna just couldn't bring herself to care that she was ruining her makeup that she had spent an hour putting on that morning or the fact that if she didn't stop crying soon her eyes would be red and puffy, a combination that she hated. Instead her eyes glazed at the toilet bowl where she had just finished emptying her stomach.


	2. So What

Hi everyone, just wanted to say a massive thank you to all of those that reviewed and people who read the story! I hoped you enjoyed it. This story will eventually be a Haleb one but until then Caleb will be in the story regularly. Here is part one of chapter one. I will upload the rest later but I am modeling in a fashion show tonight for my school, so I have to go to dress rehearsals and get ready with friends.

Beaney4 xx

* * *

With a harsh ringing sound Hanna's alarm went off and without bothering to lift her head, she fumbled around until she hit it and continued to stay underneath her blankets not willing to get up and start the day that was waiting for her.

Walking past Hanna's room on her way downstairs to get coffee, Ashley poked her head into her daughter's room and was surprised at what she saw. Hanna's long blonde hair was poking out from beneath the pillows and her body was twitching almost like it was at war with itself. Opening the door further she crossed the entrance and went to shake her shoulders gently, wanting only to wake her up, however though as soon as her hand made contact with Hanna's skin, Hanna rewoke and pushed her away, sitting bolt right up in bed.

"Mum, what are you doing? Since when have you ever woken me up? " Hanna mumbled, rubbing her eyes that were still puffy and red from the night before.

"Well, considering you're still in bed, which is nearly unheard of at this time in the morning and also considering you have already had most of this week off, I as your mother needed to make sure you actually went today. "

"So what? You're going to drive me to school and then walk me to my first class?" Hanna retorted.

"Hanna, don't argued with me please, just get dressed and get to school before your late" Ashley sighed, not wanting to probe but knowing that Hanna was this upset about something was hurting her to watch, reasoning to herself, if she was still like this by Monday the next week she would call the other girls and ask for information. Until then she just had to be supportive and they're for Hanna if she wanted to talk.

Hanna swung her legs out of her bed and got up, pausing for a spilt second as a faint ringing noise sounded in her eyes. Watching her mum finally leave her room, Hanna looked around for her phone, which she had knocked to the floor, earlier in her rush to silence the alarm. Sliding her finger across the bar to unlock her phone she sunk back onto her bed again and winced when immediately her phone chimed with a new message

"**Really Hanna? I thought you had more self-control than that, oh who am I kidding, you never had any self-control and that was your problem. – A **

Reading the message over and over again, Hanna felt the tears begin to run down her checks again as she saw the attachment that was also sent after the message: a image of her kneeling over her own bathroom toilet with another message attached: "**no wonder Caleb left you, image what he would think of you if he knew this dirty little secret" – A **

Hearing her mum moving around down stairs, Hanna wiped at her eyes and blinked furiously trying to stop the flow of tears. Opening the other messages she had she saw Aria, Spencer and Emily had all called her and left varying messages asking when she was coming back to school and if she was alright. Letting her fingers fly over her phone she texted Spencer "_hey Spence, coming to school today, pass on the message to the others, see you soon Han xx". _Walking out of her room, Hanna paused outside her doorway waiting for Ashley to grab her coffee and leave. Hearing her mum yell up to her to hurry up, Hanna yelled back that she was just getting dressed and would see her later that night. Hearing the resounding slam of their front door, Hanna slipped silently out of her room and walked down stairs into the kitchen. Opening the fridge she stared at the options available to before shaking her head and shutting the door. Glancing around a small smile graced her lips as she saw the thermos of coffee waiting for her on the counter.

Walking back upstairs, Hanna stopped and stared at her reflection in the mirror, her blue eyes stared back at her dully and her hair hung in lumps around her but what Hanna was really looking at was the way her clothes seemed to be snug around her making her look huge, sighing Hanna trudged into her room and looked through her closet. Grabbing a pair of leggings which she swore she would never wear in public again and one of Caleb's shirts she had stolen when he was living in the basement, she put them on and sighing ran a brush through her hair a few times before running her mascara over her eyes once, twice and then, glancing once again at her phone she let out a quick "SHIT" before flinging on a pair of flats and a belt and running down the stairs and out the door to her car.

Once in her car, Hanna looked at her dashboard and started swearing again "Shit Shit Shit, I'm not going to get there in time and then Mum actually will start driving me to school " Having a brain wave, Hanna dialed Aria.

" Hey Han, where are you? Class is about to start and we're at your locker waiting" Aria's cheerful, bubbly voice echoed down the phone.

"Running late, we have English first though, so can you delay your mum for me, I only need about 5 minutes"

"But wh"

"Ar, just do it pleaseeee, I've got to go, see you soon" Hanna cut across Aria's voice and hung up the phone, slowing down as she pasted Officer Wilden in his cop car. Knowing her luck he would pull her over and make her even more late which she wasn't planning on doing if she could help it. Once she was around the corner however she stepped on it, arriving at school in a record time for her. Not bothering to check her appearance she run straight into school, slowing when she caught sight of Aria talking to her mum outside of the classroom with their backs to the door, tip toeing behind them Hanna slipped into the classroom and took her seat, not hearing the whispers that started up even before she sat down.

Not five minutes later a note landed on her desk just when Ms Montgomery entered the room, apologizing to the class for the wait. Feeling eyes on her, Hanna looked up to see Aria walking past her and mouthed a quick thank you. Aria's eyes though weren't just looking at her face, they where looking at her as a whole, almost appraising her and Hanna suddenly found Caleb's top very interesting and looked down.

Reading the note that was scrawled in Em's messy handwriting "_Han, are you alright? I know this is hard for you and it's not your fault, we are __ALL __here for you. You were just protecting him we would all have done the same thing. Once this is all over with maybe Caleb will take you back. Em xx_

Reading his name made a small tear escape from Hanna's eye, which didn't escape her friend's knowledge, but Hanna unaware of this slipped the note into her folder and preceded to take notes for the rest of the lesson.


	3. Hanna in their thoughts

Hi Guys

So here's the update as promised and I'm really happy with how long this and I hope you guys appreciate it / like it. I put quite a bit of effort into this so I hope it pays off. As usual thanks for all the lovely reviews, I really enjoy getting the feedback and it brightens my day to know you guys like what I'm writing. Hope to update soon. Enjoy !

Beaney4 xx

All too soon there was the familiar stamping of feet and the jostling of shoulders as everyone rushed to leave the class.

"Jeez everyone, try not to scream with excited about leaving my class " Ella yelled above the noise.

As Hanna slipped quietly outside into the maze of kids rushing to their next class, Ella walked over to where Emily, Spencer and Aria had gathered waiting for Spencer to organize her books.

"Hi girls, I was just wondering if everything was alright with Hanna, I know she had a few sick days but she seemed distracted today and for once I actually noticed her taking notes which I can't say I'm displeased to see, but it is a bit out of character".

The girls shared a look and silently Spencer and Emily muttered quick goodbyes and left the room, shutting the door behind the mother and daughter pair.

"Wow, it requires a closed door, this is getting serious Aria, what's going on?" Ella inquired now generally interested and admittedly a tad worried.

Aria settled onto the top of a desk and swung her legs in circles beneath her, looking up; she saw the worry in her mum's eyes and swung her legs faster.

" Mona's gone now, no ones hurting you girls again are they " Again Ella tried to get Aria to talk.

"No mum, nothing like that, I probably shouldn't be telling you this, as Hanna wanted to tell everyone in her own time, but Caleb broke up with her after finding out that she was still visiting Mona and well to be honest she's heart broken. "

Ella breathes a sigh of relief when she heard that Hanna wasn't in any actual danger but rather the danger of a broken heart.

"Well, on one hand I'm happy that she isn't in any physical danger like before but on the other hand the poor girl! At least she has you guys to take care of her. "

"Yeh, mum, its not really my place to talk about though, so can you write me a late note as I'm so late to French that my teacher is going to kill me"

Aria got up and began walking to Ella's desk to grab the note once it was written. Once it was written, she walked towards the door not before turning and smiling at her mum.

"Mum, please don't tell anyone before Hanna's ready, and I'll see you at home later tonight as we are all going over to Spencer's to study for a test."

"No worries sweetie, I'll see you at home later, you're such a good friend" Ella smiled back and watched her daughter leave.

Wanting to fill up her water bottle and figuring that she was already late, Aria decided to swing by the bathroom. Walking in she walked over to the tap and turned on the water, noticing in the mirrors that one of the doors was closed, she frowned and looked for feet, not seeing any and not hearing anything, she turned the tap on faster and hurried the process up before thinking of an idea. Leaving the room, she let the door shut nearly before putting her feet in the crack and waiting.

Hanna sat curled up in a ball on top of the toilet seat, holding her breath and waiting for Aria to leave her alone in peace, she just didn't want to deal with her friends, seeing her like this, especially as she looked like a whale compared to the tiny frames of Spencer and Aria. Waiting and waiting she finally heard the door slam shut and sank to back to the floor. Putting her head in her hands, she closed her eyes and breathed deeply, sucking in air and pushing it back out.

Caleb that's all that she was thinking about, hell it seemed to be the only thing she could think about anymore and she could feel herself slipping. It was all her fault that this had happened in the first place. She had selfishly put herself before him thinking she could protect him for A and then thanks to her, his mother was likely to be alive. Without knowing it she took, a great shuddering breath and let the tears noisy down her cheeks for what felt like the millionth time that day.

Aria was just about to leave convinced that there wasn't actually anyone in there, when she heard a figure sliding down the wall and then heard someone's heart wrenching sobs escape their lips. Positive that Hanna was in class, as she had left as soon as the bell had rung, Aria shut the door the rest of the way silently, leaving the person in peace.

Running to French she decided to forget about the incident as she realized it was none of her business and she had too much going on herself with Hanna and her friends to worry about as well as A and Ezra.

Hanna unlocked the door and walked over to the mirrors to assess the damage, looking at herself Hanna praised to god the person who had invented waterproof mascara, at this rate she thought to herself wryly she would have to send them a person thank you note.

Pinching her cheeks to add a bit of colour, Hanna thought she looked about as appealing and happy as a dead fish, which is about how she felt emotionally and left the bathroom. Entering her next class which was nearly half over by this point, she passed a note to the teacher saying she had been at sick bay (which she had been for all of two minutes) and took her seat, once again putting her head down and taking notes that normally wouldn't have crossed her mind to take.

Waiting at the groups table for everyone to join her at lunch she tapped nervously at her phone, wondering when she would get another taunting text from A. Sliding in besides her Em pulled her into a hug before letting go and getting her lunch out. Not two minutes later, Spencer and Aria joined them, listening to Spencer grumbled about how a test had been moved forward to tomorrow.

" Yeh, like you don't already know the whole entire courses content for the year, Spence" Hanna stated with a small smile tugging at her lips, unable to resist the chance to tease her.

" Well, look what the cat dragged in finally" Spencer retorted dryly, also trying and failing not to let a small smile begin in the corners of her mouth.

"Haha, good to see that while I was away, you worked on improving your sense of humour as it really was crucial that you got on to that "

"Sense when have you ever used the words like "crucial" Han?" Aria teased getting in on the act to.

"Yeh Hanna, you trying to outdo Spencer or something, cause no offense that's never going to happen" Em tried to keep a straight face as she and the rest of the group looked at Hanna's face, which was looking oddly contorted as she tried to look pissed off and stopping herself laughing at the same time.

"Jeez guys, pick on me why don't you?" Hanna pouted. Taking one look at her face, all the others burst into laughter, which only made Hanna, pout further.

" Seriously guys stop it, its not funny anymore" Hanna tried again but if anything her friends only laughed harder.

" Sorry Han, you just look so darm cute when you do that and we just can't help it, well at least I can't" said Aria with laughter still evident in her voice.

"I second that, same " chimed in Spencer and Emily together.

"Well great, just great, my friends have turned against me ! Ahhh what is happening to me ! Hanna exclaimed throwing her hands into the air dramatically, causing people surrounding them to look at her.

Spencer raised her eyebrows at Hanna, who only smiled sheepishly back. Looking around Hanna, noticed that a few people were continually looking at her and then whispering to their friends. The good mood Hanna had been in suddenly seemed to disappear as she glanced down at herself and saw the way Caleb's shirt clung to her skin making her look fat and the belt, which was seemingly straining against her, begging to be loosen. Frowning to herself, she realized why everyone had been staring, it was because of how big she was, biting her lip she wondered what everyone would think of her when they found out that Caleb had dumped her. "They're all going to say no wonder he didn't want me," Hanna thought to herself.

"Hanna ? "Aria spoke up gently, waiting for the blonde to answer, but she didn't and the girls shared a look. They knew Hanna was going through a hard time and they were doing there best to be there for her but for a few minutes now, Hanna had slipped into her own little world and didn't seem to be able to hear them even though they were all still sitting at the same table.

"Han?" Spencer, tried as well but still no was made.

"HANNA !" Emily whisper-yelled in her ear bumping into her as well from the side.

"Ahh , what? Sorry guys totally spaced right then" Hanna finally said.

"Yehh, I'm pretty sure we noticed" Aria responded dryly

"ARIA" Emily and Spencer said, Spencer knocking her hip into Aria's.

"Oww, what was that for?"" Aria complained rubbing her hip. Spencer looked at her and rolled her eyes.

"You are about as tactful as Hanna sometimes you realize right? " Spencer said loftily.

"Hey sitting right here you realize " Hanna interrupted.

" You ok Han ? You kind of drift off, there on us " Emily inquired shooting both Spencer and Aria a look saying shut up.

"Um, I'm fine, just have a lot on my mind at the moment you know" Hanna said softly. Looking down again Hanna played with her cuticles waiting for the questions to come thick and fast again. Luckily for her though she was saved by the bell literally as Spencer opened her mouth to say something she was drowned out by the loud ringing sound.

Heaving a sigh, Hanna quickly stood up and made to move off, not before Emily grabbed her arm and stopped her.

"Hey Hanna, remember that we're heading over to Spencer's to study for the test after school, so I'm guessing we will meet you there? "

"Yep, I'll see you guys there but I've got to go, you know what Mr. Barbosa is like if you're late and I really don't want another dentation from him for the second time this month." Hanna replied. With that she was off, nearly running from the group.

Spencer, Aria and Emily all looked in the direction she had gone and then looked at each other, frowning slightly they all agreed that they needed to have a serious talk with Hanna that night and try to make her feel better. Splitting up they then all headed to their own classes with Hanna in their thoughts.


	4. Midget

Hey guys, as usual wanted to say thank you so much for all the lovely reviews they really make my day. I am currently in the middle of exams at the moment so have had no time to write but they finish on Friday so after that I'm be updating far more regularly and the posts will be back to their normal length. Here's just quick filler till Friday, with some cute times between the other liars.

Beaney4 xx

Later that afternoon, as Spencer, Aria and Emily all pilled into Spencer's car, Emily's phone rung.

" Hang on guys, its Han", stopping their progression into the car, they all crowded around Em's phone instead.

"Hey, Han, we're just getting into Spence's car now and once we stop off to get snacks we will be there" Emily said

"About that, I'm sorry guys but I'm just not feeling in the mood, I'm just going to head home and catch up on some sleep"

The three girls crowded around the phone, nodded to each other, not entirely surprised with Hanna's answer.

"If that's what you want to do Han, then its ok with as " Aria spoke up quickly shooting the others a look that said she had this covered.

"Yeh, Han, its fine, really" Emily and Spencer chimed in.

"Thanks guys, I'll see you tomorrow". Hanna replied, sounding relieved and pressing the button to disconnect the phone.

Once safely in Spencer's car and on their way, Emily twisted around to stare questionably at Aria.

"Ok, so spill, you had that look in your eyes that means your scheming, when you spoke to Hanna"

" Its alright guys, its nothing stupid, we're simply going to study and then spend the night over at Hanna's keeping her company" Aria said with a grin on her face.

"Um Ar, aren't you forgetting something" Spencer said.

"Um no I don't think so" Aria answered with a frown suddenly taking over the smile.

" Yes you have, silly, it's a school night and none of our parents would agree to it, not to mention I have TWO tests tomorrow while the rest of you only have one".

" And besides, Hanna's mum will be home" Em chimed in.

"Please, guys, give me some credit, I've already spoken to my mum who's fine with it and I even managed to arrange it so that Hanna's mum will be out, so we have the house to ourselves"

"Ar, once again aren't you forgetting something? What about Spence and I " Emily replied.

Aria looked at Emily and rolled her eyes " do I have to do everything? Spence your parents are never home, so they wouldn't even noticed if you're gone, leave a note and your fine, Em just tell your mum that Hanna needs you and your fine too, plus its not like Spence hasn't been studying for this tests all year"

From the drivers seat, Spencer smiled as she listened to the banter between her two friends and when Aria mentioned her studying for the whole year for these tests she made sure to stick her tongue out when she knew Aria was watching.

"So mature Spence" Aria teased laughing slightly.

"Oh shut it midget" Spencer replied from the front as they pulled into her driveway.

Piling out of the car, Aria pouted until Spencer caught up to her and gave her a side hug "you know I'm only teasing, you're my tiny and I love you" Spencer smiled effectionally. Hugging her back Aria pulled away and started laughing.

" You do know that I wasn't really upset don't you? I only wanted a hug, hehehe I just got the great Spencer Jill Hastings" Aria continued laughing, watching Spencer's eyes widened in surprise.

"Don't you worry Aria Montgomery, I will get you back when you least suspect it" Spencer threatened wiggling her fingers in the air to demonstrate her meaning. Emily smiled wryly having been on the phone convincing her mum that Hanna really needed her that night and promising that she wouldn't forget that she had swim practice in the morning. Walking past the pair she opened the back door into Spencer's house.

"I'm guessing I didn't miss much then, if the two of you are still bickering like old grannies" she threw over her shoulder with a smirk.

"Hey not fair" chorused Aria and Spencer behind her.


	5. I give up

Hi everyone

Firstly Happy Freaking New Year, if I do say so myself about time ! Hope you all had great nights and didn't party to hard unlike me. Secondly I owe you all massive an apology for not updating sooner I feel so bad! I have a million reasons why I couldn't but saying sorry is simply going to have to be enough and it won't ever be as long between updates again. Next thank you to all the lovely people who reviewed the last chapter and those that read it. Also this story is going to look and go a lot deeper into Hanna's eating disorder so in later chapters things might get a bit ugly, so please please don't read further if it could be triggering or anything like that. Another note on that if you do read something which effects you or makes you think about things , please just send me a private message as I'm more than happy to talk as I do have experience with what I am writing about.

Beaney xx

_**A couple of hours later:**_

"Ahhh I give up, my eyes hurt, my head hurts and I can't possibly learn anything anymore" Aria complained getting up from the island in Spencer's kitchen where their notes were spread over every possible surface and walked over to the sink to get a glass of water. Standing on her tiptoes she reached above the sink for the glasses, getting one for the others as well.

"Thanks Ar, I agree my head hurts to, Spence how have you managed to study for two tests in the time it's taken us to study for one? "Em moaned putting her head on the table in defeat.

Spencer pulled one of her earplugs out and grinned at her friends " just because I actually managed to concentrate for the whole entire time and didn't get side tracked talking to a certain teacher, doesn't mean you should blame me for your study habits or rather lack of"

"Excuse me, I was talking to him for like 5 minutes and besides its proven you need breaks while studying" Aria retorted poking her tongue out.

"GUYS ! PLEASE SHUT UP, Aria, Spence has a point you where distracted for more than 5 minutes and you know it but Spence she also has a point about having a break" Em broke into the beginnings of another pointless argument, aiming to put a stop to it.

"Fine fine fine, lets clean up and head over to Hanna's" Spencer replied closing her books with a sigh and a last longing look.

_**Meanwhile over at Hanna's **_

Walking into her house for the first time since being back at school calmed Hanna in a way she hadn't been all day. Shutting the big front door behind her and sensing the quietness of the house made her genueally smile for the first time in a long while, to her she was safe and back in control, nothing could touch her while she was in her own home. "Well that's not true is it now Hanna?" The voices taunted her in her mind. " Remember A? Remember the toothbrush waiting for you ". With a sigh, Hanna dropped her bag at the bottom of the staircase and ambled into the kitchen where she saw a note stuck to the fridge in her mother's neat precise handwriting.

"_Hanna, something has come up at work and I won't be home tonight as it's going to take forever to deal with this mess at the bank. There is food in the fridge that you can have for dinner and make sure that you manage to get yourself to school on time in the morning. If you need anything call Aria's mum and she will come over, otherwise take care of yourself and know that I love you." Mum xxx_

Pursing her lips Hanna crumpled the note slightly in her hand before leaving it discarded on the kitchen island. Moving she went to open the fridge and was greeted with an overwhelming smell of last night's roast and pasta that her mum had made that afternoon while Hanna had still been at school. Feeling her stomach begin to rebel against her with its need for food rearing its head, Hanna placed her hand on her stomach in warning, waiting for a few seconds Hanna just stood giving her stomach time to settle. Weighing her options Hanna opened the freezer instead and grabbed a half finished tub of Chunky Monkey, her favourite type of comfort ice cream, well truthfully she thought "my favourite type of ice cream at all as it's the only type I eat"

Moving back through the house she climbed the staircase and upon making it to her room flung the door shut with a resounding slam that echoed throughout the empty house. Putting the ice cream next to her bed she lay spread eagle on the top of her sheets watching the shadows from her open window dance across the top of her ceiling. Getting bored after a while, Hanna sat up a bit looking around, when out of her window she heard laughter coming from the street below, crossing to her window she peered out and instantly wished she hadn't. Below her were 3 girls, her own age that went to a rival school, out running together, their legs moving in perfect unison, their bare midriffs causing people to stop in the street and stare as they ran past, the slap slap of their sneakers as they hit the pavement and the way in which the girls themselves seemed to be perfectly at ease and content, almost like Hanna thought wishfully " that there only problem seemed to be what time they would all get to meet up together again to go running, or what they would be having for dinner that night" Hanna shrunk back behind the curtains making certain she couldn't be seen, her ears still hearing the musical sounds of the girls chatter and laughter as they continued to run.

Walking over to her bedside table again where Hanna had previously left the ice cream she, she took the spoon dug it into the container pulling out a huge scope as she went, stuffing it into her mouth she felt the creamy sweetness of it melt down her throat and felt just for a moment a bit better, then as she dug her spoon back in for the second scope, she felt the familiar wave of despair wash over her. She didn't need this ice cream, it would just make her fatter than she already was, what she needed was to be out running and exercising so that she could look as good as those other girls and her friends. Thinking about it further Hanna reflected on how lucky her best friends were. Aria was naturally tiny, Spencer was a stick as she exercised so often and was always running around doing things to impress her parents and Emily's body was toned and envy worthy with all the muscle and not an inch of fat on her due to all the swimming she did. Then she thought, there's me, I don't exercise unless you count shopping or running away from A, which is getting more common, I'm not smart like Spence, I'm not freaky good at sports like Em and I don't have Aria's amazing ability to draw and write, there's just me boring, plain, fat me.

Without realising that she had done it Hanna had began to scrape the bottom of the ice cream contain, with a sigh and a feeling building in her stomach, Hanna rolled off her bed and made her way to the bathroom, looking in the mirror guilt flooded her cheeks with knowing what she was about to do. Pulling her hair into a messy bun, she reached behind the box of tampons on the shelf and grabbed the toothbrush that was sitting there waiting for her.

_Flashback _

"_Han, you really want to lose weight? There's a way, I can show you, it doesn't hurt its easy, trust me you don't want to be stuck as Hefty Hanna forever. After all you know what Sean's going to say? Not it. " Ali leant towards Hanna in a secretive way, nodding her head to where Spencer, Aria and Emily were all gathered on the couch together laughing over something there were watching on YouTube. _

"_Do you honestly think they are going to want to be your friend forever Hannakins? Ali's eyes danced as she looked at Hanna waiting to see her reaction._

_Hanna's eyes watered slightly and without another word Allison grabbed her hand and dragged her upstairs to her Spencer's bathroom. _

"_Wait, Ali what are we doing in here? " Hanna questioned nervously looking around as Ali locked the door behind them. _

"_Oh Hanna your so naïve, what do you think we would be doing in a bathroom honestly, sometimes your so stupid." Ali replied rolling her eyes._

_Ali opened one of the sinks doors and crouched down hunting for something, which she couldn't seem to find. "Crap " she uttered, "where is it" searching a bit more franticly now, she finally found what she was looking for and stood up triumphantly. _

_Hanna looked at her questionably still biting back her some of her tears. " Um Ali what were you doing looking for a toothbrush? Your ones right there with all of ours" Hanna pointed to the cup holding each of their toothbrushes for when they stayed the night which was often. _

"_This Hanna this is what I'm doing with it Hanna, this " and with that Ali switched on the sinks water tap and propently shoved the toothbrush down her throat bringing back up everything she had eaten that day. Standing up Ali then proceeded to wash her mouth out and looked at Hanna expectantly. _

_Hanna however was backing up against the door " Ali you shouldn't do that you could be seriously hurting yourself you need to tell everyone so that you can get help. " Hanna's voice quivered as she spoke staring back up at Allison. _

_Allison's eyes narrowed and she moved closer to Hanna, " I showed you so that I could help YOU get thinner and then when you looked like me, I could be the one you would have to thank for everything. Don't think you can go telling anyone anything as I'll tell them simply that you started it first and told me about it and then we can see how many friends you have left after that. _

_Hanna looked at Ali as a sob escaped her lips, "you wouldn't do that would you?" she said in a whisper already knowing the answer. _

"_Hanna sweetie, you have no idea what I'm capable of, so I suggest you don't mess with me" Switching moods faster than Hanna had ever seen her do before, Ali put her arm soothingly around Hanna's back and rubbed it comfortingly._

"_Its not easy the first time, but I promise its easy afterwards and it makes you feel so good Han, please just try it once and then I promise you can never do it again if you don't want to. _

"_Ali I don't want to you know all the stuff they told us about it in health class and the videos they made us watch" Hanna felt her resolved begin to lessen, if only she could get back downstairs to the others it would be fine. _

"_You don't want to chubby forever do you? " Ali poked at one of Hanna's fat rolls visible through her t-shirt. Hanna bit her cheek toying with the idea, doing it once wouldn't hurt would it? And Ali as usual had a point she did need to lose weight if she ever wanted her friends to view her differently and not pity her. _

_Making her way to the sink Hanna reached for her toothbrush and paused standing over the sink, Allison followed her to stand behind her but shaking her head slightly she pointed to the toilet. _

"_Trust me sweetie, its better if you do it in there less mess to clean up afterwards." Ali said a smirk beginning to appear on her face. _

_Hanna clenched the toothbrush tightly in her hand, chanting to herself that she didn't need to do this and she should just walk away now, there were other ways of losing weight healthy ways. But something inside of her head kept repeating Allison's words and before she was aware of what she was actually doing she was bent over the toilet with Allison holding her hair back as she shoved the toothbrush as far back as she could get it. Repeatedly she kept going until she realised nothing more was going to come up, she felt the sting in her throat as acid burnt its way up and the feeling afterwards was exactly like Ali had promised it would be, she felt lighter, cleaner and somehow already thinner. _

_Standing back up she saw Ali looking at her differently almost like she was surprised Hanna had gone through with it. Turning towards the door she unlocked in and turning back to face Hanna said " I guess this is our little secret then, better make sure it stays quiet though, wouldn't want everyone to find out, would we? Walking out the door Ali looked over her shoulder and smirked "by the way you might want to clean yourself up you look like a mess" _

_End of flashback _

Waiting for the familiar feeling of acid building up her throat she felt the also familiar feeling of tears beginning to trickle down her cheeks and before she could talk her self out of it, shoved the toothbrush as far back as it was able to go, using a trick she had taught herself she swiveled the tip of the brush around the back of her tongue which immediately brought more tears to her eyes as her body began to respond by shaking slightly as she forced the little she had eaten that day back up.

Feeling exhausted when she had finished, Hanna made her way back to her room, walking in she let her eyes settle on the one picture that she hadn't brought herself to remove yet. It was by no means the nicest photo of the two of them but it was the one where it was obvious for the whole world to see that they where completely and utterly in love with one another. It had been taken in the kitchen downstairs by Aria who had been tired of waiting for Hanna in her car, had walked into the kitchen and upon relising Hanna had forgotten their plans as usual, saw the perfect opportunity to snap the picture as the couple had been oblivious to the fact she was there at all.

Hanna half smiled through her tears as she remembered that day. Her mum had been out and it was just the two of them. Bored with going and seeing movies and doing other normal coupley stuff, they had decided more on Caleb's part then her's to spend the day cooking together. They were in the process of making browines from scratch and Hanna had just managed to get the flour everywhere, turning around and laughing at her Caleb, couldn't resist a grin as he watched his normally perfectly put together girlfriend with her hair half out of its bun with tendrils framing her face, shorts riding up as she reached for something in one of the cupboards and her top half nearly covered completely by the flour with which she had just managed to knock over. Hanna hearing his laughter had turned to face him, arms crossed she walked towards him with a twinkle in her eyes.

"NO NO NO HANNNAAAAA " Caleb shrieked as his girlfriend tackled him into an enormous hug, effectively getting just as much flour on him as there had previously been on her. " I'm so, so, so going to make you regret that princess " Caleb taunted, pinching her cheek gently, making Hanna squirm and squeal as he started to tickle her.

"NO CALEB STOPPP " PLEASE I'M SORRY REALLY I AM " Hanna managed to get out in between gasps of air.

"Hmmm not to sure of that princess" Caleb smirked at her.

" Then how about I prove it to you? " This time it was Hanna's turn to smirk as she pulled him into a passion and heated kiss, which immediately made Caleb, forget his previous endeavors. Running his fingers through her beautiful but admittedly knotty hair he pulled apart to utter the words he knew she loved to hear.

"I love you Hanna Marin"

Running her finger's under her eyes and cheeks Hanna brought herself back to the present with a sigh, she had been so happy then, everything seemed so much more easier to manage even with A on the loose with Caleb she felt like she could take on anything but those days she felt where slowly sinking out of her grasp. Closing her eyes Hanna slowly felt herself drift into a light sleep.

Walking up to Hanna's front door, Aria this being her idea after all, pulled her hand back and knocked on the front door. Waiting for a couple of minutes the girls exchanged glances, maybe Hanna hadn't heard? Knocking again and louder this time, Spencer and Emily both pulled Aria closer to the door, listening to any sounds of Hanna coming to answer the door. Pulling back they frowned at each other before Emily spoke. " Maybe she went out? "

"After telling us she wasn't up to seeing us, I doubt she went out Em" Spencer replied. Even so though, Spencer left the front porch and made her way around to the back. "Nope her cars still here, so unless she went for a walk or something she's definitely inside."

Aria motioned to her phone "I just tried calling her and she's not answering, should we just use the key? " The key to which she was referring was a spare key that each of the girls had of each other's homes, used for emergencies or in Hanna's case when they had to help her upstairs past her mother when she was drunk.

"Yeh, I don't see why not". Emily answered, looking at Spencer for her input.

"Yep, lets go for it".

After turning the lock the girls piled into Hanna's foyer. Calling Hanna's name and still not getting an answer, they split up with mutual nods to search for her. Aria taking the kitchen and outside area, couldn't find her, Emily taking the rest of downstairs and the basement couldn't find her either and it was when Aria and Emily had regrouped that both of their phones went off with a text from Spencer. _Guys come upstairs to Hanna's room, but be quiet x. _Intrigued both girls looked at each and ran up the stairs as quietly as they could. Walking into Hanna's room they saw Spencer with a sadden look on her face, following her friends eye of sight, Emily turned and saw Hanna asleep curled in a ball with her hands wrapped around something. It was obvious to all of them that Hanna had been crying as there were still tear tracks upon her cheeks and her nose was all red, which only happened according to Hanna herself, when she had been crying. Aria walking closer, stared at the object in her friends hands, covering her mouth when she realised what it was she felt a tear of her own trickle down her cheek. It was the photo she had given Hanna as a birthday present of her and Caleb. She had been so shocked and happy as she didn't realise Aria had taken the photo as after taking the snap, Aria had decided to leave the two lovebirds to their day of fun and upon opening it Hanna had run up the stairs dragging Aria behind her as she searched for the perfect place to put it.

Moving closer to the others Aria, Spencer and Emily pulled themselves into their own little circle each hugging the girl next to them. Staring round the circle it was easy to see the pain reflect on each of their own faces, it hurt them to see one of them so hurt and down and knowing that the one thing that could make it better, couldn't be done made it just that little bit harder. Whispering to each other they agreed that it would probably be best if they waited downstairs till Hanna woke up as they knew she wouldn't want them to see her like that. Walking one after the other they all took one last look at the broken shell, which was currently their friend and headed downstairs.

Hanna, beginning to stir, stretched one arm out and paused, thinking she was going insane, she swore she heard voices coming from downstairs, looking towards her door she saw that it was shut, something she couldn't remember doing. With growing alarm she sat fully up and placed the photo frame back besides her bedside table. Standing up she crept to the door of her room, where she continued to hear the voices from downstairs. Opening the door she continued to creep further and further down the hallway until she was at the top of the stairs. Holding her breath she listened and upon hearing Aria's voice exclaim "How long could she possibly sleep for at 5:30 in the afternoon?" she breathed in and shook her head. She should have known her friends wouldn't leave her alone. Turning around she quickly she went into the bathroom and made sure that everything was in place and that there was no evident of what she had been doing before. Looking in the mirror, Hanna sighed and ran the water, attempting to fix what was left of her make up she then ran a brush through her hair quickly getting rid of the knots that had amassed while she slept.

Walking back down the stairs, Hanna had a sinking feeling that she was going to have to do a lot of acting to pass as fine and what better way to pretend that everything was fine, then by playing a prank on her friends? Ducking so she wouldn't be seen in the mirror, she flicked the switch turning off the lights and plunging her friends and her into darkness.

"What the hell" Aria exclaimed irritated.

"Must be a power out, " said Spencer ever the sensible one.

Hanna crept past her friends and slammed the basement door-causing Aria to jump in shock. Continuing to creep she made her way into the family room and rustled the curtains which in turn made an eerily creepy sound that had even Spencer standing up and looking a bit worried.

"Seriously, Spence, Em what is going on?" Aria questioned starting to get freaked.

"Well I don't think it's the po…. The basement door slammed again interrupting Spencer's sentence.

"Well it could just be Hanna messing with us," Emily pointed out wryly.

"Hey !" Hanna exclaimed, flicking on the lights again. "How did you know?"

"I saw you when you whipped around the corner the first time to slam the door, genius" Em replied.

"Well at least I got Ar and Spence good, hahaha Ar you should have seen your face when the lights went off your face was so freaked and then that cute little jump you did? Classic" Hanna grinned a smirk appearing at the corners of her mouth.

"Well you weren't good enough to get me remember" Emily poked her tongue at Hanna, who's smirk disappeared leaving her pouting adorably like a two year old.

"Break it up you two, jeez Hanna, I should be the one annoyed at you, you scared me half to death" Aria cut in throwing a towel at Hanna.

"Hmmm maybe that's why your so short Ar, its because you keep jumping so high every time someone scares you and you keep hitting your head. " Hanna teased with a fake twinkle in her eyes.

"Right now that's taking it to far, Hanna Marin you will pay for that " Aria threatened, advancing upon Hanna she grabbed a water bottle and opened the lid of it.

"Really Aria? Seriously how old are we five?" Hanna grinned confident that there was no way Aria would actually wet her. So far her plan was working perfectly.

Emily and Spencer who were watching this shared a glance, Hanna had no idea what she was in for.

"Really Hanna? Aria taunted advancing closer to a backing away Hanna.

"Yep" Hanna smirked again confident and then that was it. With laughter in her eyes Aria arced the water bottle so that its spray landed directly on Hanna who shrieked when the coldness of it hit her and then all hell broke loose for the next 20 minutes as Hanna chased Aria around, getting her back and then purposely pouring water down an unexpecting Spencer's back which lead to her turning around and blaming Emily as Hanna had already disappeared, who after denying everything was then hit with a water bomb planned for Hanna who was standing just behind the two. Spencer and Emily sharing a look both turned as one and grabbed Hanna and now that they where both wet anyway had no trouble helping Aria in her plan for revenge. Hanna being held down by Emily who was sitting on her then Aria who was tickling her, tried to get away but it was pointless she was so helpless it wasn't funny and at the rate Aria was going she would soon be tickled to death as she couldn't breath from laughter. Finally she was released but only after a thousand apologies and a promise to never tease Aria about her height again which everyone including Aria knew was pointless.


End file.
